SSDD In My World

Insecurity will be the death of me

2012-01-09T22:30:00.000-08:00

I hate what I have become. I have become a self-pitying and self-loathing person. I need to do something about my insecurities. Enough is enough.

Glory

2012-01-09T17:08:00.000-08:00

I love it when Jay gets down and personal. That's when he creates some of his best: Song Cry, Moon and the Sky, Lost Ones.....

Save me from myself

2012-01-09T16:58:00.000-08:00

just had a nervous breakdown because my boyfriend didn't call or text me back within the timeframe that I wanted him to and then spent an hour arguing with him about it. .......

I have issues.

I need help. Seriously.

2012-01-08T20:26:00.001-08:00

"Don't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling."

Im back....

2012-01-08T19:52:00.000-08:00

and I'm going to start bloggin again. I miss this outlet. I can say what I thinking. I was thinking about last year and how I wrote my wishes and wants....I wanted to share it again before I start again this year.... I actually did the things that I wanted to do. I accomplished my goals and I now I am ready to set you ones.....

Here is my post last year:
2011....wow, I cant believe you are here already. 2010 came and went like a bad boyfriend and Im not looking back. Only forward and onto bigger and better things. Im ready for great things to happen this year. I dont want to make New Year's Resolutions but I do want to promise myself to live more. Ive deactivated my Facebook account in an effort to jump out of the fishbowl for a little while. I was feeling very narcississtic and didn't want to be a part of it anymore. Im keeping my blog because its just for me and I hope that people that come to check it out enjoy it at least a little bit. My biggest thing is that they are coming to view my ramblings of their own free will. They are not involuntarily subjected to my nonsense and I not to theirs. I am in no way bashing anybody that enjoys Facebook or Twitter or Myspace. I love them too but sometimes I feel like I really dont need to know every aspect of someones life, unless Im following your blog. That was kind of a joke because maybe blogging is the ultimate form of narcissism. Social networking is just a whole different animal. Its slowly becoming the devil...just like text messaging. Why cant we pick up the phone and say hi or send a handwritten letter. The world has become so impersonal that you even have to find out someone has passed via Facebook status. Im guilty of it too and I will definitely admit it but Im trying to make changes for the better and it starts with this. From here on out blogging will be my only outlet. You can't annoy the
willing right? And maybe Im the only one that is listening but hey that's a great start. Listen to yourself. Listen to your heart. Because when shit hits the fan, or doesnt, you can say, I DID IT MY WAY. Im not going to think of it so much as changing because I want to stay ME but I will say evolving. Ive stagnated for too
long in life. Its time to swim and not save anything for the swim back. It's time to let go of fear. Time to embrace the fear because that is the only way it can be conquered. Ive been afraid my whole life and I dont want to be afraid anymore. No more censorship. No more procrastination. No more. Im ready for 2011 not only because its the beginning of a new year but the beginning of a new life.
I want to travel, if only a 100 miles. I want to sing, if only in front of a few people. I want to write, even if I'm the only one reading. I want to love, Love, LOVE, even if its myself because I dont think Ive ever truly done that. I want to wear any damn thing I please and not feel afraid of what others will think.
I want to speak my mind when I feel. I want to take beautiful photographs and share them with the world. I want to LEARN LEARN LEARN. I want to change these WANTS to WILLS and I plan to. By monitoring my output and increasing the input I feel excited. Im excited for the future and it starts now.

I did travel and it was more than 100 miles. I went to New Orleans. I met Lupe Fiasco while I was there.

That was very awesome.

I sang love in front of people. I actually performed a song that I wrote the hook on.

I took beautiful photos and read some amazing books.

Now it's time to step it all up a notch or two and really explore life...
I can't wait. :)

I've moved

2011-07-29T09:37:00.001-07:00

http://picturequeen.tumblr.com/

Come check me out.

2011-06-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

I love it. I love everything about this.
This was one of my favorite songs from the get go.

2011-06-04T11:09:00.000-07:00

I feel like its the end of the world.
I've felt this way before.
I forgot how terrible it felt.
To wake up with a broken heart.
Cant sleep Cant think
Tears and tears.
is it the apocolypse because I feel ,like a zombie.
walking around
soulless and searching for a body....
with a brain and heart...

no one.....

2011-05-31T11:38:00.000-07:00

.....

2011-05-31T11:02:00.000-07:00

I drink too much.

Inspirations

2011-05-15T11:14:00.000-07:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Williamson

The Do

2011-05-10T20:40:00.000-07:00

I cut my hair myself the other day. I have been growing it out. Im ready for long hair again. I decided to give it a different style. Ive been wearing it the same for a few months now. I needed a change. I had a certain style in mind…..

My ultimate…. Alice

End Result.

What do yall think?
Actually, I’ve had it this way for over two weeks now. I’ve gotten positive and negative feedback. Im still on the fence as to whether I like it or not.

2011-05-01T10:18:00.001-07:00

Music Is My Life

2011-04-30T15:37:00.000-07:00

I have really started to take my music seriously. I have always been very passionate about music but never really thought about taking it to another level. More and more I think I am just going to go for it. I have recorded two songs already. These photos are from my last session. I had a great/tipsy/fun time.

This is Frank….He is very passionate and stays in that position when he’s listening.

Six Days Away

2011-04-29T08:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, I will be heading on a road trip to New Orleans in less than a week. My excitement is building up to a breaking point. I am very excited and also very nervous, but that’s the anxiety trying to rear its ugly head but I won’t let it. I am going to enjoy this trip. I mad goals for 2011 and I intend to complete them. Going on a trip, even if only 100 miles(New Orleans is 521 so surpassed my goal already!) was one of my goals. I am ready to take on the world. LOL I am really stoked to go sightseeing. I have started a list of to do’s and must sees. It’s gonna kick-ass!

Not to mention, I am going to see my favorite singer of all-time!!!!!

I’ve waited for Lauryn’s comeback for over a decade and it’s finally time. The only problem is that her set conflicts with one of my all-time favorite bands!

I have to work something out!

And just for good measure…

Last but not least, Lupe Fiasco!

I even bought a brand new camera. I can’t wait to show off the pictures!

This little piggy went to the Dallas Farmers Market

2011-04-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

I didn’t get to buy any of the delicious looking fruits and veggies but I did buy a homemade fruit pie. It was pretty darn good. I went to the market to do research for a school project. I really need to start going to the Farmers Market on a more regular basis.

Jules et Jim

2011-04-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

The second feature I took in at The Texan Theater. The tale of two friends and an unconventional woman that changes everything.

Me. Out and About.

2011-04-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

One word. Damn.

2011-04-08T15:50:00.000-07:00

After a long hiatus,(my computer was out of commission)IM BACK!

"I guess it's in the stars for me to love you from a distance."

Must See

2011-04-08T15:34:00.001-07:00

Global Warming - Did You Know?

2011-04-06T10:02:00.000-07:00

I became a vegetarian for 6 months and I really think I'm going to cut down my meat consumption again. I may not stop eating meat completely but I will significantly reduce my meat intake.

The Winter’s Bone

2011-03-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

John Hawkes is hands down one of the best actors. He is so underrated. I spent the entire movie waiting for scenes with him in it. He was terrifying as the volatile uncle and was the best part of the movie. The movie was very slow and I disliked it as I was watching but its growing on me and I am beginning to appreciate it more. The movie was actually very good but it was just slow as molasses. If you have time, I suggest checking it out. I give this movie 4 stars out of 5.
Let me know what you thought about the movie and your favorite part.

RIP Elizabeth Taylor

2011-03-23T16:01:00.000-07:00

I have always been in awe of this woman. She was strong and independent and one of the most beautiful women in the world. The original Angelina Jolie. She stole more husbands that WWII and had no shame. I admired her acting and beauty and contributions to society.

I had previously posted this like two years ago and I could have redone it but this is how I felt always.

A star is gone.....

Doesn't she look classic? - Cher in Clueless

Recent fashion trends are lending themselves to be very girly and feminine. I think the floral motifs and dresses are very reminiscent of old school glamour like Liz Taylor and Audrey Hepburn. I love the saying, Whats old can become new again. I think thats another reason I never really like to part with my old clothes because I know that they can come back into style at some point. So in honor of the new trends I am posting pictures of one of the most beautiful actresses/women of her time...and any time. ELIZABETH TAYLOR......timeless, classic, effortless, beautiful...all traits I hope that I possess or can emulate....

also, it seems the most handsome men were from that classic old school hollywood era as well...i might sneak in a few pics of my favorites.

loving you minnie riperton

2011-03-16T12:26:00.000-07:00

This song has been stuck in my head all week...been singing it to Appolonia. She loves it.

God help Japan

2011-03-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

How to help Japan.
Here is a link to an article which lists the ways we can help.
Click below...

Love

Terrified.....

2011-03-15T16:01:00.000-07:00

The devastation in Japan is horrendous. I tried to avoid knowledge of the situation out of fear but I couldn't ignore it any longer. I am horrified by the loss and destruction. I am terrified that such a terrible event has occurred. The world is forever changed. I need to find out how I can help.

I know I can start by donating but what more can be done?

Officially....

2011-03-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

my very good friend Preface and I just finished recording a song together. I am so excited so here goes....ENJOY.

Make sure you like him on Facebook. :) Click here. Preface

EPIC

2011-03-12T17:11:00.001-08:00

Losing hope

2011-03-07T21:13:00.000-08:00

I didnt want to say anything because I still had hope, but my little Prince is gone. She went missing last week. I was hoping for her safe return but she is gone. I miss my little ray of sunshine terribly.

THE TEXAS THEATRE

2011-03-06T18:10:00.000-08:00

I have lived my entire life in Dallas, Texas. I have lived over half of it in Oak Cliff, Tx. Texas Theatre has always been in the background of my scenery and its only walking distance for me now. I never paid much attention to the run down theatre until it reopened very recently. It has a very rich history. Howard Hughes once owned the Texas Theatre. Lee Harvey Oswald was found there after he “allegedly” shot President John F. Kennedy. The history of this place is just awesome.

You can even watch a movie in the same spot (the actual chair was removed and the chair that replaced it) that Oswald sat in, if you are into that sort of thing. It’s fifth seat from the aisle in the third to last row. Note to self: Take a picture in that seat next time you go.

I’ve had the pleasure of going to The Texas Theatre twice now and I must say I enjoyed myself very much. It is a quaint little place with an easy charm that you can easily fall in love with. A record player streams albums while you wait for the movie to begin and sip your wine. The selection is small but it’s a work in progress and I like that about it. I do recommend cup holders but I can understand because the seats are vintage. I’ve seen two amazing films there in the past two months. I can’t wait to tell you all about them but that will have to wait for later.
Have you been to The Texas Theater yet?

Things I Miss

2011-03-03T15:10:00.000-08:00

My niece and nephew. I love them like a fat kid loves cake. Certain circumstances prevent me from seeing them but I hope that changes very soon.

just cause

2011-03-03T14:44:00.000-08:00

They're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

2011-03-02T08:43:00.000-08:00

I am kvelling right now. I am so excited right now. I need to find a way to theNew Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival. That is my one purpose in life....lmao. Seriously, I need to fucking see my boys in concert. That would be a dream.

you look like the perfect fit....for a girl in need .... of a tourniquet.

2011-02-28T19:23:00.000-08:00

feeling melancholy. ehhh.....I am the only person to blame. I am truly blessed right now except for the love department. I am always deficient in that area. Screw it.
This song is and has always been one of my favorite melancholy songs.

I have a lot to talk about. I mainly have to talk about MOVIES!!! I somehow channeled my inner film critic and watched a shitload of movies this past two weeks. It's all going down.....across the universe.

"you had my heart inside your hands...and you played it to the beat."

2011-02-21T19:44:00.000-08:00

I am obsessed.

My two favorites

2011-02-20T16:43:00.003-08:00

GENIUS

2011-02-20T13:30:00.000-08:00

I JUST WISH THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THE EXTENDED VERSION.

Taking a stroll down memory lane

2011-02-20T12:44:00.001-08:00

My neice is maturing into a nerd just like me. God help her. Lol I have started a new tradition I hope, of sending her at least two books a month. I sent her the first one and she read it in two days. It was a scary book, but a goodie, nonetheless. I have been searching for it for years just because I wanted it in my personal library. Speaking of, I need to bulk that sucker up. Anyways, all I could remember was that there was a female child ghost haunting a girl that moved into a former church with her family and the front page was a map of the house and adjacent cemetery. I remembered that much and that I absolutely loved it...or I think I did. These days you won’t even catch me watching a scary movie, much less read a scary book. Back then I craved them. Goosebumps, R.L. Stine, and Christopher Pike were favorites. I would ride the city bus to the public library near my house or have my grandpa drop me off at the main library so I could stock up on as many books as possible. Reading was my adventure. Reading was my escape. I fell in love with reading and I have been ever since. So my niece is asking for nothing but scary books but I am leaning more toward my absolute favorites, Beverly Cleary books. I truly loved reading Beverly Cleary books. Strider is still one of my favorite books of all time. I remember trying to read every single one of her books and I may have succeeded give or take one or two. Some of them are impossible to find. I loved Dear Mr. Henshaw so I even wrote Mrs. Cleary a fan letter to show my adoration for her and her books just as Leigh did in Dear Mr. Henshaw, with my school picture enclosed. I gave the letter to my mom, who in turn laughed at me and said that the author was probably dead. She and my father then proceeded to make fun of me for it for about a month or so after telling everyone who would listen. "What is a dead author going to do with a picture of you? How is she going to read your letter?" she would ask sarcastically. Looking back I remember how much it hurt, still does. I feel bad for the young me.

Beverly Cleary is still alive today. She is 94 years young. She might have received my letter had I not thrown the letter with my picture inside of it away that day. I really identified with Leigh from Strider and Dear Mr. Henshaw. Leigh was a child of divorce and hardly got to see his truck driver dad or his mother who worked long hours. Books really were my escape from reality and I wanted to be Ramona or Henry with their perfect nuclear families. Books saved me from my crazy childhood. I kind of want to start collecting all the books and maybe pass them down to my future children because at least one of them will have the bookworm gene I hope. My niece definitely has the gene. I went ahead and sent her a diary and Dear Mr. Henshaw. She is having a tough time with her parents’ divorce and I hope that it helps her as much as possible. I can't wait for her to fall in love with Beverly Cleary books just as I did. My friend Andrew told me to go ahead and send a letter to Beverly Cleary. I think he may be right.

Which Cleary book is your favorite?

Here are some of mine......

Adele

2011-02-16T19:17:00.000-08:00

She has one of the most amazing voices I have ever heard in my entire life.

This song gets me every time.

The beautiful and ridiculously talented Adele......

I love what the announcer says at the end. He is absolutely right.

UPDATE: Beautiful. :)

2011-02-15T18:50:00.000-08:00

"and I was satisfied being in love with a lie"

Runaway fast as you can

2011-02-15T08:15:00.000-08:00

This is how I'm feeling about Valentine's Day right now.

"and I was satisfied being in love with a lie."

Happy Late Valentine's Day

2011-02-15T08:12:00.000-08:00

Mine didn't go so well. I spent the entire evening with a very sick grandparent in the hospital. He has pneumonia and that is very very bad at his age and he's already very weak as it is. I'm praying for him. Please do the same

My boyfriend had to work yesterday as well. He said that he doesn't believe in Valentine's Day. Is this just a cop out? It really annoyed me that he wouldn't/didn't get me anything thing for Valentine's Day. He couldn't even bother to get me a card. I got him a card. It's the thought that counts....
He said that Valentine's was a made up day for stupid people that think they are in love, to which I replied,"Wow people who think they are in love must be suckers huh?" His answer,"Hell yes." Self-righteous prick. I just can't believe how insensitive he is over the entire situation but obviously I do believe in it so why trash all over it? I don't know, it really has me thinking. He did something else shady this weekend that I can't get over either. We went out to the bar where he pretty much knows everyone and I really don't. So while he's making his rounds I decided to sit with a group of people that I had met previously there. It was a group of men coworkers and they were having a going away party for the person I knew the best. I am sitting there and joking around with them when boyfriend comes up and starts joking to which everyone laughs and says to all of us,"Amanda, don't ever try to be as funny as I am. You can never be funny like me. Your humor level is ehh about a 7, mine is a ten. So don't." I was completely embarrassed. I almost cried right there. Please tell me Im being oversensitive or something. I went into quiet mode after that and he kept asking what was wrong so I told him and he said he was joking and then proceeded to be mad at me and argue with me because I'm too "sensitive". I totally saw a different side of this person that I thought was perfect for me. I really need to make some decisions. Am I too sensitive or is he too insensitive?

Cold

2011-02-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

If your love was a season
I'm sure it would be winter
cold and bitter
robbing my warmth
you stay only a short period
but leave permanent hurt.
I can feel you coming long before your arrival
but I'm never prepared for that freezing wind
I fear for my survival
no coat of armor protects me from you ...

Prince is a Princess

2011-02-09T10:16:00.000-08:00

Never believe a person when they tell you the sex of your kitten. Also, learn how to check the sex of your kitten. I have have my precious Prince for almost six
months and he has been a boy that entire time. I even proclaimed Prince and Appollonia husband and wife and called their fights love spats. Starting two days ago, Prince
began to act strangely and meow and moan very oddly. We thought he wanted to go outside because maybe a girl cat was in heat. Boy were we wrong. Prince is a Princess. My
little loveyboy is a loveygirl. I dont know what to think. Is she sexually confused or has she thought we were morons this entire time? Maybe the latter of the two. It feels
very strange right now because I only know Prince as a boy. I will have to get used to it but the name will remain the same, for obvious reasons. My little girl is a Catwoman
now.

Things I miss

2011-02-05T13:36:00.000-08:00

Yes this is a little superficial but I really miss my hair. My long hair. I miss being able to curl my hair or even putting it in a simple ponytail...this growing out process is a pain in the ass

sigh.

SNOW

2011-02-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

This weather is absolutely crazy. I can’t believe that we are having this weather in Texas. In Texas, we are known for 100+ degree temperatures, not ice storms and inches of snow. If and when we get snow or ice it only lasts for a day, if that. It has been three days of ice and sleet, which meant no work or school, and last night it began to snow. It’s nothing if not absolutely beautiful outside. Yet the weather is like a beautiful woman, beautiful but dangerous. I have been stuck in the house all week except for yesterday when I ventured out for the night. What a big mistake that was. As I was walking from the car to my cousins apartment I slipped and fell, resulting in my head hitting the ground. My head doesn’t hurt at all, but my entire neck area is in pain. It is supposed whiplash. Isn’t that crazy??
As a kid growing up in Texas, snow happens once in a blue moon. As soon as I woke up this morning I had such childish ideas of making snow angels and sliding down the street on a homemade sled. As soon as my cousins son showed up at my mothers we engaged in a snowball fight and made snow angels. We began making snow men but that it definitely harder than it looks. If there is still snow tomorrow, I am going to try to make one on my own. I wish that I had my neice and nephew to share this with but that’s a story for another time.
The superbowl is on Sunday and this weather is not changing anytime soon. Is it a Superbowl curse? We’ve never had weather like this before. I live in Dallas, Tx if you guys didn’t already know that.
Could it be global warming? That thought really scares me. We seriously need to start making changes because we are in trouble. I have been trying to figure out how I can minimize my carbon footprint and try to engage others to do the same. A while back I was considering taking a sewing class so that I could make recyclable bags for shopping instead of the plastic bags.
Once in the environment, it takes months to hundreds of years for plastic bags to breakdown. As they decompose, tiny toxic bits seep into soils, lakes, rivers, and the oceans, said Cobb. Taken from Are Plastic Grocery Bags Sacking the Environment?
John Roach
for National Geographic News
September 2, 2003

Go to this link and find 50 Ways to Reduce Your Carbon Footprint
http://www.metroactive.com/metro/08.15.07/50-ways-to-go-green-0733.html

I didn’t have the funds to take the sewing class but soon I will and I think I may go ahead and take it. We really need to start taking care of the environment. I want my future children to be able to enjoy Texas weather and on occasion make a snowman or woman. 

On a much happier note, here are some shots of my little snow adventure today. Sorry for the quality, I had to take with my camera phone. Enjoy.

This is after I fell and bumped my head..

mellon collie and the infinite sadness

2011-02-01T17:55:00.001-08:00

Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

AND I ALWAYS FIND YEAH I ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING WRONG. YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING UP WITH MY SHIT FOR WAY TOO LONG....
IM SO GIFTED AT FINDING WHAT I DON'T LIKE THE MOST, SO I THINK ITS TIME FOR US TO HAVE A TOAST.

MBDTF has two killer break up songs.....

On a bathroom wall I wrote I'd rather argue with you than to be with someone else...

I'm jamming these on replay today.

Things used to be, now they not
Anything but us is who we are
Disguising ourselves as secret lovers
We’ve become public enemies
We walk away like strangers in the street
Gon for eternity
We erased one another
So far from where we came
With so much of everything, how do we leave with nothing
Lack of visual empathy equates the meaning of L-O-V-E
Hatred and attitude tear us entirely

Chloe Mitchell

THEME MUSIC.

In love

2011-01-31T19:44:00.000-08:00

I met a guy and he was wearing this. I wanted to keep his shirt but I had to settle for this. I'm buying this shirt asap!

Overreaction

2011-01-29T18:21:00.000-08:00

Overreaction

I tend to overreact. I'm a tad oversensitive. I totally had a mini melt down a couple of hours ago. But hey we all need to flip out a lil every once in a while to
keep ourselves sane. I have an unconventional relationship right now, but honestly none of my relationships with boys have ever been conventional or normal. I am quick to break up over spilled milk. This time, this guy seems to get me. He seems to understand my ticks. He's figured out how this watch tells time and he still wants to wear it. We have so much in common that it repels us at times but brings us back like a magnet. He is the only person that will tell me the truth when I have gone completely mad and still wants to kiss me after. I have never had someone look at me the way he does, even when I have on no makeup. He doesn't let me have my way all the time and let's me breath when I've fumed myself breathless. I love that when I see him, he's better than the time before. I hate that he can make me so mad but have me laughing five minutes later. Our situation is not ideal but he is my ideal boy. :)
I'm not naive. I'm happy. I just need to let myself be.

wooo saw..wooo saw

If anyone is wondering what happened to Project 365, it is on hold. I am not in possession of my camera at the moment. I will still try to post pics with my camera phone but it sucks. We will see.

melancholy

2011-01-29T15:32:00.000-08:00

Today is not my day! At all. I feel invisible.

I have been upset since this morning. I guess I could feel the inevitable downfall of the day.
I don't know what to do or feel, what to think or say.
My boyfriend and I have more problems that we can solve. I can see the unraveling like pulling at a loose string of a sweater and then there is nothing that you can do to stop the destruction. The descent into nothingness. We are becoming nothing. Our tone of voices have changed. It's not easy anymore. Things fall apart.
I feel like I have no control over my life right now. No say in what I can or can not do. I am a slave to my poverty. I am a slave to my destitution which was brought on by my own hand. I brought this on myself because I gave up hope. I let the house of cards tumble down around me. Now I am left all alone. Where is the King of Hearts now? Or even Jack? I must be the Joker. Definitely not a Ten.
I need to do something. I need to get out of this.
I need a place of my own where no one owns me.
I need to take back ownership of my life.

#drunken

2011-01-25T22:02:00.000-08:00

I dont give a fuck anymore!!
I am done!
I dont care.
Dont fucking stare.
i felt vulnerable.
It scared me.
lies scare me even more
and I can smell a lie a mile away
bassett hounds couldnt play me
im a ruiner.
i admit it.
fuck you!
fuck me
yes please
on second thought
fuck you
i taste the truth
and thats not your flavor
ill be sick tomorrow
but it wont mask the sorrow
the lies i have to borrow
fuck it
suck it
kiss me and make it all better
im a drunken fool
in love with you.
you piece of trash
but you're my treasure
you're my forever
see you in heaven
or as im looking down at hell
i really do wish you well
ring the bell
ring the alarm
leave grab marks on my arm
its a love tap
no baby thats a rap
love you to pieces
no literally
i want to rip YOU to pieces.
i love to pick a fight
in the end im always right
in the end im alone
i just didnt like your tone
please just pick up the phone
beep my message is too long.
my love was too strong
maybe i was just wrong
peace.

runaway fast as you can

MyNewFavoriteSongOfTheMoment

2011-01-23T14:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I get you, Sometimes I don’t understand.
Sometimes I love you, Sometimes it's you I can't stand.
Sometimes I wanna hug you, Sometimes I wanna push you away.
Most times I wanna kiss you, Other times put you and every minute you start switching up
And you say things like, ‘ You don't give a fuck!'
Then I say, ‘I'm through with you.' Take my heart from you. And you come running after me, and, baby, I'm back with you.

You're not easy to love
You're not easy to love, no-oh
You’re not easy to love-
You’re not easy to love, no-oh

Why is everything, with you so complicated?
Why do you make it hard to love you-
While I ha---te it?
Cause if you really wanna be alone, I
Would throw my hands up cause baby I tried

This is exactly how I feel when it comes to the ex.

1.23

2011-01-23T11:48:00.000-08:00

So, I am super excited about many things right now!!!!!!! I became more proactive and might just achieve some of my goals I talked about completing for 2011. 2011 is going to be my year people! This is just the beginning.

First, Project 365 is super hard. It's hard to find subjects when I never ever go anywhere. There are only so many pics that I can take of my cats or myself but it actually makes it more fun. It's also hard posting them every single day. I am getting better at it though. It's all about progress in 2011.

Also, I don't know if I have ever talked about this before but I dream of becoming a teacher. I want to be an elementary school teach and somehow incorporate music into that. I have almost completed the background process to a part time job working with elementary schools and children. This is so exciting for me. You have no idea! I get hands on training for my future career and I am getting paid!
This is amazing!!! I hope everything goes well with my background, and it should but I'm just crossing my fingers. I can't wait to post that I got the job.

Another goal I have for this year is to sing in front of an audience. I am going to have an actual solo performance in two weeks in front of a large audience!!! EEk!!! This is so major for me! It's actually going to be two performances. How awesome is that? I sang in front of my music class yesterday. I sang I Dreamed A Dream and I rocked that shit!!!! I am losing my shyness. I am so happy. I can't wait to go back to class next Saturday and start practicing.I will be singing Let's Stay Together and The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face for the Valentine's Day
Show. Yay!!! PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE!

BOOKAHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Now this might be the most exciting thing on my plate right now! I opened my own seller account on Amazon about a week ago. I've already sold three books!! I had been planning to do this for a while now since I always see books dirt cheap at thrift stores, I saw a market there. I also have tons of school books that are just sitting in my closet. I had to take action. This is a great way to get some extra cash and maybe make something out of it! It also gives me an excuse to go thrifting. I love thrifting.
I am addicted.

You may ask why.....I ask why not?

Ramona Flowers

2011-01-23T10:59:00.000-08:00

I am obsessed with all things Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. The story, the music, the funnies, the EVERYTHING.
I think it is so funny and so cute. Kick-ass even. I want to read the graphic noviels now. I love its take on
love and heartache and insecurities. Not to mention, Sex Bob Omb music was done by Beck. Metric was Death at Deamonhead.
I adore the song Black Sheep. The song Ramona is so pretty. Garbage truck is so punk. I think the soundtrack
is awesome.
The one liners are just so on point. "if your life had a face....I would punch it."
Hilariously cool movie. I've seen it five times in a week.
I love the story. Sometimes you have to fight for what you love and sometimes what you love has a past but
if you love them you can look "past" it. Sometimes hearts get broken. Sometimes they don't. I like how it
shows male insecurity that does really exist. Should Knives have gotten Scott?

The music is stuck in my head.

Garbage Truck, Ramona, Black Sheep and on and on.
I also like the cover of By Your Side.

I've watched it 6 times now. I may have a problem.

I think everybody has their own Envy or Ramona and at some point in time been both without realizing it.
I heart this movie.

#8

2011-01-22T16:59:00.000-08:00

MICHELADA......YUMMY

#7

2011-01-21T00:53:00.000-08:00

I used to write poetry. I actually used to just cut words out of magazines and piece them together to create something new. #7 is a prime example of it.

Deep all the stars are
Who watch you make someone happy
Are thoughts read in his lips?
beauty then is a weakness
your saving face is heaven sent
leaving the moment hidden

#venting

2011-01-19T20:06:00.000-08:00

Day 2 of school and I'm already lost. I just don't feel prepared whatsoever. I just don't have any of the books and I'm struggling to find out when I am going to get them. Not such a great start. I am working it out though. Hopefully I can score a couple of the books online tonight and have them by next week. I also had to hit up the pops so he could get a couple for me. I may need to pawn my camera or Ipod. I just got this camera and I'm doing project 365 but hey, sacrifices right? It will all be worth it in the end right? If I pawn the Ipod I still have my camera phone, that could be fun. We will see if push comes to shove. I am also already dropping a class. I can't do it right now. I gotta set limits. We will see how day 3 of school goes. I m going to sleep early. I am exhausted. I really hope this job comes through. I need it.

IM TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED.

p.s. Hey asshole, if I dont answer the first 5 times in a row that you call, dont call another 10 times one right after the other. You had your chance and ya blew it.
You lost one.
Suck it slow.

#6 REDEMPTION

2011-01-19T19:27:00.000-08:00

Yay? Nay?
I had to post a better pic of myself. I couldn't have people thinking I was Tyrone Biggums hispanic cousin. This isn't the best pic of me but it's real. I don't do too much to myself 'cept put a little war paint on and wash the hair once in a while or run a comb through it....just kidding.

This is my best damsel in distress pose...lol I dont know why Im holding my arm up like that but I really like the picture so it's #6.

#5

2011-01-18T22:44:00.001-08:00

Grow Hair Grow!

2011-01-16T20:11:00.000-08:00

Ugh my hair is growing at an earthworm pace. It's driving me nuts. I feel like a soccer mom with my hair the way it is
right now. I can only fantasize about the hair I want but I want it now!!!!!!

My greatest and first inspiration.
Damn you Natalie Portman...you were perfect before you were born.

This hairstyle is so fucking cool but so diffucult to pull off. Here goes nothing.

Dear Hair,

Please hurry the F up and grow.
Thanks

Seriously,

Your head

#4

2011-01-16T20:00:00.001-08:00

A phallic representation of power and greatness. I either need a better camera or better subjects. I had to take this quick shot as we were driving by on the freeway. The pictures will get better. I promise. This is hard.

#3

2011-01-15T16:43:00.000-08:00

This is me after a night of heavy partying and drinking...the day after at about 5pm. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder right?? hhahahahahaha. I love my lil beanie because it hides my bad hair. The background is not fake, my walls are really painted that color. Hideous right??? I really need to repaint. I really need to step my 365 game up too. I just feel under the weather so what you see is what you get for picture #3.

#2

2011-01-15T16:24:00.001-08:00

Introducing......the beautiful Apollonia

#1

2011-01-13T18:57:00.000-08:00

Wow this is gonna be either really fun or really hard.

For my first picture of the 365 project, I'm showcasing my handsome lil prince that I just love to pieces. Yes, his name is Prince, he is named after the "Prince". I have a female cat as well and her name is Appollonia.

UPDATE: MY LIL PRINCE IS ACTUALLY A GIRL...

Hilarious!!!

2011-01-10T12:41:00.000-08:00

I so regret missing this episode on Saturday. I was at a bar and it was on tv but I couldnt hear it. It still looked absolutely hilarious.

The Social Network

2011-01-09T21:55:00.000-08:00

I deactivated my Facebook acct and watched "the facebook movie" on the same day. It was a coincidence I guess but I haven't looked back. When I do look back Im kinda disappointed in myself. I was sharing my life with people that I didn't even know. I had over 200 friends but in real life it's more like four or five. I felt like I was being so vain and superficial. The more people ask me why I did it the more I want to stay away. I'm receiving texts from "concerned" friends asking if I'm all right. It's really not that serious people. Maybe it is. One person said that's the way that they stay in touch with people, through Facebook. Wow. Really? I'm not trying to bash anybody or Facebook but I mean at this point in time, it's just not for me. I don't want to be that accessible and easy to find. My blog isnt easy to find at all. It can only be found by luck or by me actually telling you where to look but you are lucky if I tell you. I dont want to be a part of the social network anymore. It's like being a part of the Matrix. It's not real.

On the other hand, I thought the movie was fun. It was pretty freaking awesome. Awards are in that movies future. I really enjoyed the movie, I just dont want to be a part of it.

I dont think I need 500,000,000 friends either.

It begins.

2011-01-06T12:44:00.000-08:00

Im starting two new projects that Im really excited about and I'm searching for some volunteering opportunities.

Project One: Youtube Channel.

Im going to start singing and recording videos. Its the first step to singing in front of an audience. It's a huge step considering it's freaking YouTube but this is where I'm going to start. At least one new song a week I am aiming to upload. Hopefully after a while it will be my own songs as I get better with writing and piano. It's mainly to lose that stage fright and get better.

Project Two: 365. Project 365.

It's photography thing. A lot of people do it. It seems easy but as time goes by you really have to get creative. 365 unique pictures daily is gonna be hard but I need more challenges in my life. This is all part of my quest. I hope I am up for the task. I can't start until I get my new camera, which will be the 8th. I'm so glad that when I purchased my camera in July I also purchased an extended warranty. The camera was a piece of crap. I finally took it back for repairs a couple days before Christmas. Good idea and bad idea. Bad idea: I had no camera during the holiday season so I didn't get to take any pictures. Good idea: It was not fixable so they offered me a replacement and I picked a Nikon this time instead of a Fuji. I also got to keep the warranty because I didn't break it myself, its just a piece of shit. Thats another good perk about it. I also need to pick up my manual camera (uses real film) from my friend. I am going to be taking a lot of pictures this year. Now what am I going to do with the charger and batteries to my old camera?

Volunteering.

This is something that I have been thinking about for a while. I am trying to step outside of my selfishness and try to contribute to the world in some way. I feel so self-involved sometimes. We live in such a ME ME ME society. Im guilty of it and I want to make some changes. There is a shelter for teenagers a block from my house. I dont know why I never thought to volunteer there but it just came to me last night so I went onto their website and they definitely need help. There are a few requirements so I have to do that first so let's just see how this unfolds. Plus it will definitely give me experience for when I become a teacher. Double score.

Monster Muppets

2011-01-05T11:15:00.001-08:00

Master Class : Jay Z

2011-01-04T14:53:00.000-08:00

Inspiring
This is part one. I highly recommend watching all of it.

Mr. West

2011-01-04T14:11:00.000-08:00

Listomania

2011-01-03T20:05:00.000-08:00

I started off the year on the right foot. Black Swan was magnificently terrifying. I loved it. I want to make time for films. Films that have meaning. Films that have substance. I need to be moved. Move me.

Another Year

The Tree of Life

Blue Valentine

Biutiful

Never Let Me Go

Is there a theme in the films that I am wanting to see?

It's a beautiful thing...

2011-01-03T19:52:00.000-08:00

I love the new direction in music and the way we receive it. It's the beginning of a whole new era.

2011-01-02T18:50:00.000-08:00

mindfuck: an idea or concept that shakes one's previously held beliefs or assumptions about the nature of reality.

The Black Swan: mindfuck.

2011 Moving Forward

2010-12-31T12:29:00.000-08:00

2011....wow, I cant believe you are here already. 2010 came and went like a bad boyfriend and Im not looking back. Only forward and onto bigger and better things. Im ready for great things to happen this year. I dont want to make New Year's Resolutions but I do want to promise myself to live more. Ive deactivated my Facebook account in an effort to jump out of the fishbowl for a little while. I was feeling very narcississtic and didn't want to be a part of it anymore. Im keeping my blog because its just for me and I hope that people that come to check it out enjoy it at least a little bit. My biggest thing is that they are coming to view my ramblings of their own free will. They are not involuntarily subjected to my nonsense and I not to theirs. I am in no way bashing anybody that enjoys Facebook or Twitter or Myspace. I love them too but sometimes I feel like I really dont need to know every aspect of someones life, unless Im following your blog. That was kind of a joke because maybe blogging is the ultimate form of narcissism. Social networking is just a whole different animal. Its slowly becoming the devil...just like text messaging. Why cant we pick up the phone and say hi or send a handwritten letter. The world has become so impersonal that you even have to find out someone has passed via Facebook status. Im guilty of it too and I will definitely admit it but Im trying to make changes for the better and it starts with this. From here on out blogging will be my only outlet. You can't annoy the
willing right? And maybe Im the only one that is listening but hey that's a great start. Listen to yourself. Listen to your heart. Because when shit hits the fan, or doesnt, you can say, I DID IT MY WAY. Im not going to think of it so much as changing because I want to stay ME but I will say evolving. Ive stagnated for too
long in life. Its time to swim and not save anything for the swim back. It's time to let go of fear. Time to embrace the fear because that is the only way it can be conquered. Ive been afraid my whole life and I dont want to be afraid anymore. No more censorship. No more procrastination. No more. Im ready for 2011 not only because its the beginning of a new year but the beginning of a new life.
I want to travel, if only a 100 miles. I want to sing, if only in front of a few people. I want to write, even if I'm the only one reading. I want to love, Love, LOVE, even if its myself because I dont think Ive ever truly done that. I want to wear any damn thing I please and not feel afraid of what others will think.
I want to speak my mind when I feel. I want to take beautiful photographs and share them with the world. I want to LEARN LEARN LEARN. I want to change these WANTS to WILLS and I plan to. By monitoring my output and increasing the input I feel excited. Im excited for the future and it starts now.

Im speechless

2010-12-30T18:59:00.001-08:00

Im liking this more and more with each listen. Don't get me wrong, Devil In A New Dress is beyond compare, but this is jammin HARD!

JB

2010-12-30T18:52:00.000-08:00

I kinda wanna watch this now...is that weird?
The kid was talented....goes to show people are just born with it.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

2010-12-30T14:08:00.001-08:00

2010 Looking back...

2010-12-28T22:37:00.000-08:00

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times".......

Looking back, it wasnt so bad was it????
What a year it has been.
Im kinda over it though. Im ready for 2011. :)

I chopped off all my hair.....and it didnt stop here...I kept going shorter and shorter..even rocked a faux hawk.

Spent time with my best friend/cousin

watched my family grow

Yup, I really rocked that do...haha

Shorter

IDK

and I love her....

made a friend for life...my lizzy.

Went through an androgynous face...I loved it.

Danced on a bar...Coyote Ugly style

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Happy Halloween

Two of the best people you will ever meet.

I told ya, I had a mohawk

Saw some great shows....

and definitely stopped and smelled the flowers

This was a good year...I had my family and friends and the best part is that it was the beginning of a great life to come and just a precursor to the greatness that willl be 2011. I cant wait.

This might be good.

2010-12-28T14:43:00.001-08:00

'Other Woman' Other Woman Trailer @ Yahoo! Video

I love Natalie Portman. She can do no wrong so I am interested in seeing this.

2010-12-25T19:13:00.000-08:00

Recently,

On Christmas Eve I chose to watch The September Issue. It was such a great decision. Fashion is Art!
Anna Wintour is captivating and mystical. The devil herself was draped in fur the majority of the film. Did she skin the fur herself? Maybe the animals killed themselves just to be worn by The Queen of Fashion. I actually saw a more human side of her. Her daughter rdiculed the seriousness of fashion in a roundabout but obvious way. All the while her mother is just beaming at her very own creation. I think the real star of the film was Grace Coddington. I wanted to see more and more of her. Anna and Grace were like an old married couple who talk about each other to their children, good and bad. Still you can see the immense admiration that these two women share as Anna speaks very highly of Grace at the end of the movie. The images that Grace creates are genius. Absolutely fantastic. Looking at one of Grace's images is like stepping into a fantastic world and never wanting to leave. Andre Leon Talley is so ridiculous and fun. I really loved this documentary and I may need to watch it again. Anna is perfection wiht her sharp bob and endless array of floral dresses. Is Anna the most powerful woman in America??? After Watching this documentary I agree that yes, she is the most powerful woman in America. Is Anna the most feared woman in America? Yes Yes Yes.
Ok I'm watching it again now.
I wish I had gotten a subscription to Vogue for Christmas.

I also got turned onto Pablo Neruda by a fabulous blogger. Amo http://fabiolaalejandra.blogspot.com/ Pablo Neruda is a genius. Absolute Genius. His words MOVE me.

And because Love battles

And because love battles
not only in its burning agricultures
but also in the mouth of men and women,
I will finish off by taking the path away
to those who between my chest and your fragrance
want to interpose their obscure plant.

About me, nothing worse
they will tell you, my love,
than what I told you.

I lived in the prairies
before I got to know you
and I did not wait love but I was
laying in wait for and I jumped on the rose.

What more can they tell you?
I am neither good nor bad but a man,
and they will then associate the danger
of my life, which you know
and which with your passion you shared.

And good, this danger
is danger of love, of complete love
for all life,
for all lives,
and if this love brings us
the death and the prisons,
I am sure that your big eyes,
as when I kiss them,
will then close with pride,
into double pride, love,
with your pride and my pride.

But to my ears they will come before
to wear down the tour
of the sweet and hard love which binds us,
and they will say: “The one
you love,
is not a woman for you,
Why do you love her? I think
you could find one more beautiful,
more serious, more deep,
more other, you understand me, look how she’s light,
and what a head she has,
and look at how she dresses,
and etcetera and etcetera”.

And I in these lines say:
Like this I want you, love,
love, Like this I love you,
as you dress
and how your hair lifts up
and how your mouth smiles,
light as the water
of the spring upon the pure stones,
Like this I love you, beloved.

To bread I do not ask to teach me
but only not to lack during every day of life.
I don’t know anything about light, from where
it comes nor where it goes,
I only want the light to light up,
I do not ask to the night
explanations,
I wait for it and it envelops me,
And so you, bread and light
And shadow are.

You came to my life
with what you were bringing,
made
of light and bread and shadow I expected you,
and Like this I need you,
Like this I love you,
and to those who want to hear tomorrow
that which I will not tell them, let them read it here,
and let them back off today because it is early
for these arguments.

Tomorrow we will only give them
a leaf of the tree of our love, a leaf
which will fall on the earth
like if it had been made by our lips
like a kiss which falls
from our invincible heights
to show the fire and the tenderness
of a true love.

- Pablo Neruda

I am currently reading The Selected Poems of Pablo Neruda. Rumi is next. I want to read more. I want to write more. I want to see more of the world. I want to sing.... Im ready for this to begin. I'm ready.

You must find inspiration in everything. EVERYTHING.

A picture is a poem without words. - Horace

2010-12-23T16:11:00.000-08:00

My good friend Irene and I went to a free show at Nasher Sculpture Center in Downtown Dallas. Free admission! We viewed some amazing art. Picasso, Matisse, and De Kooning, Oh My! On a student budget, which is less than zero,
we were able to see some really great sculpture and expand our minds. Also, we got to have fun while taking some shots in the amazing garden.
Every three months there is a new exhibit and it's free on the opening day. I will definitely be back again and again.

De Kooning

Being Goofy

Contemplate

Follow me

Off With Their Heads!

THIS IS NOT A FASHION BLOG.

2010-12-21T09:49:00.000-08:00

I love fashion blogs. The girls are so nice and pretty and definitely dressed to kill. I read fashion blogs daily. I love to read the ones from other countries and their take on "fashion". I love the blogs here in the good ol' U.S. of A too because they are more familiar but by no means ordinary. Pretty extraordinary ladies. From the photography to the writing about their daily lives, it's like a window into another world. Even if that world is very similar to mine, they have better shoes.

I started my blog with no specific intention or set idea of what it would be or has become. It is still the same. It's me. From what I love or aspire to love, and every once in while, a picture or two of yours truly. Sometimes I will give a glimpse of my world no matter how personal.

Lately Ive been wanting to mix it up a little bit. I'm wanting to add more pictures but as I stated, this is not a fashion blog. I dont dress to impress nine times out of ten but I really wish that I did. I wish that this was a fashion blog and I could post pics of me wearing designer duds but that's just not going to happen. I' m a t-shirt and jeans kinda gal. My favorite shoes are a beat up old pair of Converse. That's my comfort zone. Maybe that's my problem. I'm comfortable. I want to express myself in different ways and I really do believe that fashion is an art. It's a window to your soul. You are your own work of art. Treat yourself as such. I came up with this whole idea of Rosewood about a month back. I think I'm going to finally start putting that idea into motion. I also have another idea brewing but its not quite down yet. I'm really excited about that. Coming Soon!

So moving forward into the future, my blog will be changing. I'm really excited about this because It means I am changing. Change is good sometimes. Without change everything would stay the same. That's another thing that I love about fashion, its always changing, always creative. Constantly moving. I am going to include more picture posts because I'm getting back into my photography, book reviews because the world will read again, vent about life, keep my new section I want and add I recently with reviews.

I love the fashionistas in the blog world....not only are your dresses pretty but you gave me some great ideas. My outfits may not be on par with you ladies but I wouldnt want it any other way.

-Mandy

Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in. ~Amy Lowell

My Mojo So Dope

2010-12-18T08:42:00.001-08:00

My cousin said I looked like Kid Cudi on this day. I feel the vibe.

Rat Packer

2010-12-18T08:27:00.000-08:00

Should I?

2010-12-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." - Morpheus

I want.....

2010-12-10T17:07:00.000-08:00

TO READ:

Decoded

2112823421
Uploaded by yardie4lifever2. - Explore international webcam videos.

TO WATCH:

Blue Valentine

I need to see this movie NOW!

LISTEN TO:

Vampire Weekend.

All this time I thought Vampire Weekend was a Christopher Pike book. I'm a little late to the party on this one but better late than never. But never late is better. :) I'd heard the name Vampire Weekend but never paid much attention and then I started listening to the Kid Cudi song, CudderisbaCK. I loved the beginning and had to figure out who Vampire Weekend. I think I will spend the weekend doing that.

To OWN:

LOL Maybe not "OWN" BUT....

OWN

I am actually excited about this new network now. Especially about the new show
Master Class. I love Oprah. I love what she represents. She is such an inspiration to women, minorities, the human spirit.
I am just in awe of all of her accomplishments and she does it all from the heart. It doesnt ever feel like she
is in it for the money. It seems the most happy rich people are those that aren't in it for the money.
Warren Buffett is another great example, but thats another blog in itself.

Be your authentic self.

To learn:

How to play Texas Hold 'Em

cause.....
"You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run."

OMFG!!!!!!!!!

2010-12-10T16:58:00.000-08:00

sPEECHLESS.....
(IN A GOOD WAY)

"My favorite Beatle was once Paul. Now it is John."

2010-12-08T13:39:00.000-08:00

In loving memory to one of the biggest musical influences in my life.
John Lennon

but dont get me wrong, I still love Paul

His Mojo Soooooo Dope

2010-12-07T16:43:00.000-08:00

I said it before, I'll say it again. Kid Cudi is on another level. He's on some intergalactic shit.

I lost it a lil for a while but Im back on Cudi. Back with a vengeance.

I will only answer to Mrs. Rager from here on out. Adress me as such. Man On The Moon II. Dope. So dope.

P.S. Cudi is so damn sexy! Of course, he's got some Mexican in him. I knew he was a cool motherfucker.
He lives in words not metaphors.

end/start

2010-11-29T11:43:00.001-08:00

heres the situation. i live in frustration. due to my infatuation. which brings your unwarranted elevation. and my damnation. i remember every occasion where you use my admiration. i need a new sensation. a new relation. i need a a resignation
......from you stating that you will let me go. let me live. or let me know. or let this die. give up on this lie. why? try? sigh..... i cry. you deny. break my heart. break my spirit its nothing new. at least not when it comes to you. you are my exception. my deception. unfortunate affection. let me go. fast not slow. i have feelings you know. thanks in advance for breaking my heart.

Zooey

2010-11-18T12:38:00.000-08:00

In my quest to find out what my idea of the "Rosewood" aesthetic is, one person pops into my head over and over. Zoeey Deschanel. Her style is classic and lovely. Her style is a great jumping off point.

Thrifting is definitely a must. A fun one at that. Here is an idea of what I am hoping to find, or similar. Thrift stores have some of the best stuff...wish me luck.

rosewood by shopgirlxoxo featuring a diane von furstenberg dress

Marc by Marc Jacobs Pandora mohair-blend sweater dress
$270 - net-a-porter.com
Slip on dress »

James Perse Twisted cotton-jersey dress
$225 - net-a-porter.com
Cotton jersey dress »

Preen Line Jenny stretch-cotton mini dress
$530 - net-a-porter.com
Sleeveless dresses »

Lover / Tilly Lace Fitted Dress
$700 - lagarconne.com
Slip dress »

Lace and satin dress
180 GBP - karenmillen.com
Lace dress »

Moschino Cheap and Chic Boucl
$950 - net-a-porter.com
Shift dress »

MARC BY MARC JACOBS M102334 BLACK WOOL/POLYESTER E4652
530 GBP - farfetch.com
V neck dress »

Halston Heritage Jersey wrap dress
$365 - net-a-porter.com
Jersey dress »

3.1 PHILLIP LIM Robe
305 EUR - colette.fr
3.1 phillip lim dress »

Sass & Bide Path To Freedom cotton-twill dress
$790 - net-a-porter.com
Bodice dresses »

Vanilla contrast crepe dress
35 GBP - theoutnet.com
Mini for Many dresses »

Tibi Silk and lace-print dress
$475 - net-a-porter.com
Short sleeve dresses »

Corsetry strapless dress
180 GBP - karenmillen.com
Corsets dresses »

GUCCI 251869 9115 GHIACCIO POLYESTER/ELASTANE TESSABIT
929 GBP - farfetch.com
Cap-sleeve dress »

Temperley London Freeda printed silk-twill shift dress
$950 - net-a-porter.com
Sleeveless dresses »

Diane von furstenberg dresses NAVY
273 GBP - matchesfashion.com
Diane von furstenberg dress »

NW3 Cross Over Stripe Silk Dress, Multi
69 GBP - johnlewis.com
Silk dress »

By Malene Birger Rigela embellished chiffon dress
$545 - net-a-porter.com
Sleeveless dresses »

Also, for your listening pleasure, Adele.

This song is so lovely.

This Is Rosewood.

2010-11-17T07:48:00.000-08:00

This Is Rosewood

Let me explain. Kanye performed a secret show, This is Rosewood, but it has turned into a way of life.
Art is supposed to inspire us to think outside the box and I believe make changes in our lives that
reflect our true selves.
Art is supposed to be influential and thought-provoking. What Kanye is doing right now is just amazing. He is
changing the game in every sense of the word.

"It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.
Albert Einstein "

From music to fashion, Yeezy is merging different styles and mixing them in a pot to produce a beautiful swirl.
His latest album is an infusion of rap and classical. His suits are streamlined but have a hint of old school Rat
Pack.If he is Frank Sinatra, I want to be Shirley MacClaine. Google it.

His opinions are what we all think but won't say. My underdog hero.

I've decided to take a cue from 'Ye and just be fearless. Do all the things I want to do with no worry of what
people think. Starting with my music and photography and fashion. Im going to sing more, take more pictures and
dress with conviction.

The Rosewood steeze for men consists entirely of suits. Extremely well tailored, "skinny" suits.

Rappers in suits? Yes, please.

So, my question is, what is the female version of this?

When I think of who might fit the profile only a couple females come to mind.

This is Rosewood baby.

"Jimmy Choos on. Who thought you how to put some mother fuckin Jimmy Choos on? "
Yeezy taught me.

Yeezy taughty you well. Yeezy taught you well.

Fresh

2010-11-17T07:25:00.000-08:00

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is rocking the shit out of this as well. He's been doing it for a while now though. He deserves
honorable mention cause his swagger is on a hundred thousand trillion.

I like his casual look too.

Untitled

2010-11-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

I wish I loved the color pink.
I wish I could wear dresses without feeling awkward.
That I wasnt so comfortable in jeans and old converse.
But really I only wish this because it is wished of me.
People try to change you to their liking.
To be more striking.
But they really just dont want you to be you.
Are they scared of something different?
Something other than the norm?
Is that why I should conform?
Sometimes I wish I had long flowing hair.
You know, the kind that makes men go crazy.
But I have a short hair cut that barely brushes my neck with its wispy sticks.
I wish I could see into your heart, find out how it ticks.
I love you just the way you are.
but I could make a few changes, you insist.
I wish I loved the color pink
so that you could love me.
But I dont love the color pink.
I dont, and I never will.

Please dont do me any favors Mr. Intentional

2010-10-31T13:19:00.001-07:00

Oh Mr. Intentional........

Oh it's nobody else's fault
Except the truth about you
You know that life goes on without you
And your expensive misinventions
Disguising your intentions
Don't worship my hurt feelings, Mr. Intentional
Oh, oh oh oh
See I know you can't help me, Mr. Intentional
The only help I need to live, is unprofessional
The only wealth I have to give, is not material
And if you need much more than that, I'm not available
Please don't entertain me, Mr. Intentional
Oh I dont need your sympthy, Mr. Intentional
Stay away from me, Mr. Intentional

When does Mr Right become Mr. Wrong?
Maybe we were never right.
Perhaps we were always wrong.
Is it you?
Is it me?
Its us. We just dont belong together.
No matter how much love there may have been between us
it is no longer.
Was it ever really there?
What is love?

I waited for you.
I anticipated your arrival.
I grew old in your absence.
You no longer want "me".
Im not the porcelain doll that you created.
Im am the pieces that were put back together after being broken.
I am the words that were never spoken.
You were all I ever wanted.
Never what I needed.

The times they are a changin'

2010-10-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

Sickness really makes me appreciate my health. Appreciate, cherish, love
and feel very blessed for my health. I have been really feeling a
transformation in myself. I feel like I am growing spiritually. I can see
the difference in my views and feelings that are changing regarding numerous
issues. I have come to find that I was actually very judgemental and hateful.
I have beenn carrying around all this negative energy and its just not the
person that I want to be. I will be making many changes for the better I hope
as soon as I am fully recovered.

I realize that I was not a very happy or well adjusted person. I guess it
takes falling down to look up and see that you were never really standing
in the first place.

Cheers to growth and change.

love

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1: 7

I could really use a wish right now. wish right now wish rigt now

2010-10-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

I am as sick as a dog. My throat is so swollen and in pain. I was supposed to go out tonight after a long hiatus but now all I can do is wish.......

Night Out by shopgirlxoxo featuring a platform sandal

Hervé Léger Asymmetric velour bandage dress
$2,750 - net-a-porter.com
Asymmetrical dress »

Diane von Furstenberg Silk leaf dress
$995 - net-a-porter.com
Sleeveless dresses »

Notte by Marchesa silk organza Dress
773 GBP - net-a-porter.com
Notte by Marchesa dresses »

Notte by Marchesa Pleated tulle and lace strapless dress
$750 - net-a-porter.com
Strapless dress »

Anna Sui Silk-tulle sequin-embellished dress
$640 - net-a-porter.com
Silk evening dress »

Big Lips bootie 120
$1,135 - shopsavannahs.com
High heel boots »

Versace Leather gladiator sandals
$1,095 - net-a-porter.com
Platform sandal »

Bottega Veneta Suede wedge ankle boots
$870 - net-a-porter.com
Suede boots »

PRADA Platform Peep-Toe Bootie
$850 - barneys.com
Booties shoes »

Christian Louboutin Rolandzip 120 suede platform pumps
$795 - net-a-porter.com
Suede pumps »

CASADEI 4154CZ BLACK SUEDE 3173202
519 GBP - farfetch.com
Peep toe shoes »

Winter Wish List

2010-10-02T14:19:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Polyvore! by shopgirlxoxo featuring platform booties

Elizabeth and James Laurent oversized checked shirt
$172 - net-a-porter.com
Long sleeve tops »

Sheer Plaid Boyshirt
$68 - madewell.com
Sheer tops »

Zac Posen Layered wool-blend sweater
$825 - net-a-porter.com
Zac posen tops »

Wildfox Lightning Cut Off Tank in White
$64 - shopthetrendboutique.com
Vintage tops »

Wildfox Love is Everything Crew Neck Tee in many colors
$64 - singer22.com
Wildfox tee »

【ELLE SHOP】ドゥーズィエム　クラス｜【ＬＥＢＯＲ　ＧＡＢＡＬＡ】カメラプリントＢＩＧＴ－ＳＨ｜ファッション通販エル・ショップ
10,290 JPY - hfm.co.jp
T shirts »

J.Crew Aberdeen distressed leather jacket
$595 - net-a-porter.com
J crew jackets »

Jagger linen-blend jacket
$200 - theoutnet.com
Pinstripe jacket »

Paige jeans - Skyline skinny Gypsy wash - Berties Clothing Shop -...
200 GBP - bertiesclothingshop.co.uk
Paige denim jeans »

Aligal low-rise acid-wash jeans
$75 - theoutnet.com
Acid jeans »

Lama Peach Dillan Hangar Cowboy boot with Studs
240 GBP - brownsfashion.com
Chunky shoes »

Rock & Republic Women's Angie Ankle Boot
$345 - endless.com
Platform booties »

Leather Lace Up Ankle Boots
1,100 GBP - brownsfashion.com
Leather heels »

Alexander McQueen - 240598BGS0R Faithfull Small Satchel (Dark Silver...
$1,599 - zappos.com
Couture tote bag »

H&M Shop Online
hm.com
H&M hats »

Nicole acetate glasses
$325 - net-a-porter.com
Benjamin Eyewear sunglasses »

KIMI

2010-09-25T14:18:00.001-07:00

so, I japanimated myself. Yes, it was all by accident but proved to be a very fun little activity for my and my friend Omari. I had a picture and I started playing around in photoshop. Voila! Kimi was born! I sent the pic to Omari and he asked me what my anime name was...I was like hmm? I dont know. I also didnt know that the anime names have meanings and so on and so forth. I looked through a list and found the perfect name for myself. Kimi. Kimi means "she who is without equal". Pretty cool I thought. Then I proceeded to give Omari a name but thats our lil secret. :)

And no I didnt grow hair overnight, Im wearing a wig I bought about two months ago that I only wear in the confines of my bedroom. I feel like a little sexpot when I wear it. I like the real me better.

The Road To Recovery

2010-09-24T15:50:00.000-07:00

Is a long and winding one.

"the life of strain is diffucult. The life of inner peace--a life that comes from a positive
attitude--is the easiest type of existence." Norman Vincent Peale